In the memory of a childhood friend

Some people come into our lives and we can’t stop thinking about them. That’s the kind of person he was. Simple.....yet so beautiful; far.....yet so near.

We all, at some point in our lives meet a person who changes us completely. Someone who makes us feel the need to be a better person. It seems as if life would have no meaning without them. That person could be a sibling, a parent, a crush...anyone. In my case it was a friend.

N.P. as he was fondly called by his buddies was my childhood friend. We joined school on the same day. We would end up talking for hours, sharing our darkest secrets and gossiping about all sorts of stuff. He was the kind of person who could really cheer you up on a dull day; just the kind of person anyone would happily agree to spend time with.

But like all good things our friendship eventually came to an end. As we grew up the 'hellos' were replaced by formal 'good mornings'. We grew up some more. He moved to a different school and I started leading a different life. Still, I never forgot him.

One sunny afternoon I saw him at the neighborhood market, standing approximately hundred yards away from me. Too afraid to initiate a conversation (mostly because of the fear of not being recognized by him), I decided to ignore him and started walking away. Just then I heard him call my name and turned around to see if it really was him. Did he still remember me? Yes, he did! We chatted for half an hour, just like the old times. Then I bid him good bye, promising to see him soon (Facebook and cell phones were not so popular back then).

Years passed and I never heard from him.

Then one day, just before the class ten board exams a friend informed me that N.P. was no more. He went on a vacation to Goa with his family to celebrate Christmas and drowned at the beaches on 25 December. His family found his body the next day.

I miss him, always did, always will. I wish I could tell him how good it was to have him as a friend. But by now he probably knows.
Flipping through the pages of the old school yearbook brought back memories of him.

Rest in peace my friend. I know you are in a better place even though its not here with us. Your presence still lingers here but I wish you could stay longer.

Maybe...

You know how parents say - " you're too young to understand", "when you get older" or "you're no ready for it yet"? Well, they never told us that the shift from the symbolic "young" to the much-awaited "adult" will not have a transition period. It is just thrust on you when you least expect it. All you can do is do your bit in the unfolding of events and go along with the tide... Or you can make a mark in the world to claim "Here...here is where I had stood against those who were there only to pull me down from my goals."

A time comes in life, when you start to question the meaning of your very existence .. That maybe, for all the glamour that others see in your life, maybe you are nothing at all -- that maybe it's the pomp and show that is the facade and you yourself have no essence; no value in life...

Truths

More than once in life I've seen

things are never what they seem - 

they seem so full of life to us

that we hurtle into dark and thus

are never able to understand 

that there are both sides to a hand:

one with palm, that only gives

other, hard truth, that only lives

on taking that which many hold

close to chest, dearer than gold,

in the minds' most sacred parts,

in the deep chasms of our hearts.