Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Lessons to be learnt

The last few days have made me-stronger, lonelier. I lost a friend in a car crash. He was my age, handsome, cheerful, loyal and was the only family-friend i really got along with. With him, I didn't have to force a grin at a boring party. He understood what it was like to be a teenager. But now next time I attend another family get-together, I know he would not be there.

Their are two kinds of plans- one that we make for ourselves and the other that God makes for us. Only one out of the two is successful and that plan is never ours. 

No matter what I think I will be or who I will be, the future is not in my hands. So I must live in the present. We all must.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. But today is a gift and that is why it's called present. 

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Why? -- II

You can't do this to a girl. You can't expect to tell her that you "really like liked" her and hope for her not to remember. Especially if you were her first crush, maybe more. 

There really is nothing about you that I can list as OUT OF THE ORDINARY, yet I find myself falling for you every time. My usually level head spins, and my stomach starts to do cartwheels of their own accord. I bet I even blanche out when I see you anywhere nearby.

I want to be with you so much that there seems to be a constant ache, an yearning... At first, in the first few weeks, I didn't understand it. I was younger. I just thought... I don't even remember what I thought. Now after another 2 and a half years, the ache is everywhere - my mind, my heart, my soul? The further apart we go, I feel like something is tearing me inside... like I'm tethered here but the pull toward you is too strong, and I'll rip apart.

My insatiable thirst cannot be quenched by anything around me. If only you would come back to me, I would do all I can to make things better for you and me. I can not, try as I may,  forget each and every word from your lips, the mischief that played in your eyes, your carefully casual demeanor.

You can't imagine how hard it is to STAY without you, away from you. You have an excuse - you don't have my number anymore. But I still have yours. There really is no easy way to put this in writing is there? But I'm sure my emotions are just heightened and exaggerated. I can keep writing about you, but the fact remains that no amount of written words will make you appear in front of me. You don't think of me at all, do you? You have her.

Red Silhouette

Why? -- I

There is only so much that can take a mind off of things. Things you would rather not think about, things that you are not supposed to think about, things that you cannot think about. 

But now the time has come for that barrier to break, for the curtains to withdraw and the memories to fill my mind once again...

Red Silhouette